[Sick of it allParticipant]

I actually feel lucky….my ex has desperately tried to get me on the criminal side of it…but to no success.

2 days after she received my application for child arrangements, there was a barage of calls to the police reporting me for breaching the non mol order, for throwing a phone at her head, turning up at her house. Luckily the police didnt do any thing because there is no evidence and i actually reported her to the police 6 months ago for encouraging me to breach the non mol order (kept texting me about non child related things, provoking reactions) so i think that helped too. Still have fact finding hearing this month but i am confident 🙂

[Sick of it allParticipant]

He is currently on holiday and should be back in a couple weeks

[Sick of it allParticipant]

Home

Take a look at this website.

[Sick of it allParticipant]

I would say any evidence to prove you are paying maintenance. If its by bank transfer, provide bank statements. If you are paying in cash, you should be getting the mother to sign for it. Do you have any evidence that you are paying maintenance? If not a simple letter from the mother stating that she receives X ammount paid to her in cash.

[Sick of it allParticipant]

I have one next month. Ditch your solicitor and use a mckenzie friend….they so much better.

You want to keep your statement and responses very allegation specific. As tempting as it is, dont go into any thing that isnt an allegation from her, example dont start bringing up other things she has done to you.

In your statement and responses, you do not want to come across as bitter or angry. You want to come across as if you do not give a flying fuck about her allegations and you aren’t bothered by them. This whole process is about the judges wanting to be sure that you aren’t angry or a risk of harm to the children. They do not care about any thing else. If you can provide any evidence to prove her false allegations that will help you obviously.

It is a very stressful process, i wouldnt wish it upon my worst enemy.

[Sick of it allParticipant]

I been through same shit. All emotional abuse and i think she was doing it to provoke me to losing my shit, and it worked. She then tried to use my reactions against me. It hasnt quite worked out the way she wanted and we are still in a ‘stale mate’

Im much happier now that im not in the relationship. Still fighting to see my twins and probably half way through the whole process.

Keep on the good fight guys.

[Sick of it allParticipant]

Never put in your statement that she is a narcissist, it wont make you look good. Also make every thing focussed on your children instead of what she has done.

[Sick of it allParticipant]

Smokey, the measures in place are a good thing to protect genuine victims of domestic abuse. However in countries like UK and USA unfortunately there are people (such as womans aid and all the charities) take it to the extreme….woman abuse the measures in place to get rid of partners they no longer want to be with or get found out doing some thing they shouldn’t have. Or to be non other than nasty and spiteful. There are soooo many control freaks out there.

Where i come from if a woman reported their partner for looking through their phone the police would say ‘ok and what did they find? Please dont waste or time’ there are alot of things messed up in this country with the whole ‘where there is blame there is a claim’ culture…not being able to discipline kids in schools, the family law system. This country is too soft and thats why people take the piss. Sorry to slate this place and i hope i havent offended any one. I got given the cane at school and also had a hiding on several occasions from my parents, and it did me and alot of other people no harm. Saying that i would never discipline my children like that. The whole health and safety at work act is mainly designed to stop dick heads forcably injuring themselves to make a claim.
I do think the police have to deal with way too much petty shit ie domestic abuse reports.
There should be limitations on the pettiness of the report…and also i think that there needs to be evidence in place to grant non mol orders exparte…granting these orders with no evidence seen is fucked up beyond recognition. The courts know woman abuse these orders….why do they let it happen???

[Sick of it allParticipant]

Wow, reading your the posts above has made me feel alot better in my situation. Ive not had a police encounter, even though she reported me for being aggresive (i wasnt aggresive, but i was mad because of her emotional abuse) they didnt do any thing because there was no evidence and she made the report TWO days after she locked me out and threw all my things outside….and the only time i did go back to the property to get some things she kept inside was with a police escourt.

Weeks later i reported her because she was harassing me for more money…and a police officer came over and i had a long chat with him…i must be a rare one but i only had a positive experience with that police officer. I asked him about the time she reported me (i found out she reported me because she wrote it in her statement for the non mol order) and he said it is a non issue and it wont go against me.

The funny thing is that she will find out in the section 7 report that the police opened up an incident because she harrassed me and in essence provoked me to breaching the non mol order because if i responded…thats a breach.

She will then realise that her report means sweet fuck all lol

[Sick of it allParticipant]

Done

[Sick of it allParticipant]

Absolutely correct…..and its irreversable

[Sick of it allParticipant]

My hearing went better than i expected.
They arent taking her allegations seriously…she said i have a drink and drugs problem (i used to do drugs like 7 years ago but i was never an addict…and i do like a drink but i dont over do it all the time, only on occations like friends birthdays, work christmas do’s etc) but they didn’t order me to do a drugs and alcohol test. She was so pissed off that it was amusing.
Also in january i will be seeing our girls for 2 hours a week instead of 2 hours every two weeks.
She is still clutchting at straws to stop contact from progressing to unsupported. So the next hearing is a fact finding hearing at the end of febuary which im looking forward to so much. Im certain that all her allegations will be proven false 🙂

[Sick of it allParticipant]

Most of the time they do it purely out of spite. Woman who do it out of spite probably have some personality disorder such as borderline personality disorder or narcissistic personality disorder.

[Sick of it allParticipant]

Did you go through a mediation service? If not you need to do that, so when she refuses to them, they can send you the signed relavant page to include in your child arrangements application. With out that page, you cant apply.

You dont need a local mckenzie friend, i live in essex and my mckenzie friend is in south hampton. These guys travel all over the country to go with people to court. All consultation is usually over a phone call.

I know its heard, but its best you accept the situation and remain positive. Dont dely, start court proceedings. It will take ages until you get what you and the children deserve, but take comfort in the fact that if you start the proceesings, it is one little step closer.

If she isn’t a reasonable person (doesn’t sound like she is) it is better for you to have a court order on contact, other wise she can refuse contact when she likes. And as soon as you lose your shit because she is messing around with the time you spend with your child, that makes it 10 times worse. If you have a court order and there is a pattern of breaches, you take her back to court and could face penalties such as a fine and ypu could even apply to have ypur child live with you.

[Sick of it allParticipant]

In regards to a character reference from your ex, the things you mentioned is perfect for the reference. Mine mention those exact points.

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