[Sick of it allParticipant]

DO NOT attempt to go pick your son up or go to her house because she can make all sorts if accusations against you of harassment.

[Sick of it allParticipant]

Unfortunately there is sweet nothing you can do…. apart from fight it the legal way. They can decide to deny access if there is no court order in place which is BULL!! They say the father has rights but I don’t see it this way when they can stop contact just like that.

Have you ever attended an MIAM session with her? She can’t apply for a court order unless you both have been to that. Contact a mediator and have the MIAM. Try the mediation, if she refuses or you can’t get to an agreement then you can apply for a child arrangements order by filling out the C100 form.

[Sick of it allParticipant]

Do not give up on your girl. Take her back to court. If she breaks the order again, make a note of it happening as a pattern. Eventually the judge will threaten to fine her, put her in prison or hand over custody to you.

[Sick of it allParticipant]

So you haven’t even let you have supervised or supported contact? If not, have they given you a reason why you aren’t allowed supervised or supported contact? What kind of allegations had she made? Do you have a non molestation order?

Reading your story gives me heart palpitations because I am just about to apply for a child arrangements order.

[Sick of it allParticipant]

I’m lucky my wife has used all the arsenal of weapons of mass destruction, so much so that it has made her look ridiculous in front of the judges. At the fact finding hearing for the non molestation order, the judge told her she could only pick 4 or 5 allegations out of the list of 39 allegations she made. All of which are false allegations. Non of which where on her original list of allegations for the NMO order.

There is also the prohibited steps order that I can’t take my girls out of the UK. Didn’t care about this one because I wasn’t planning to any way.

Instead of fighting it I accepted the orders on the basis that there has been no findings and I do not accept any allegations.

My next step is now to apply for a child arrangements order. I have been using a very good McKenzie friend and he has been worth his weight in gold. His advice had been sublime and I will continue to use him. He only charges £60 for an hour’s telephone consultation and £400 to come with me to court for the day. He also does all the forms / statements etc. Honestly he is better than a solicitor because he actually gives good practical advise on how to go through this process as quickly and cleanly as possible. He has been through the same shit and that’s why he does what he does out of pure passion for helping fathers in our situation. He’s been helping fathers for 12 years now and done over 1600 cases.

[Sick of it allParticipant]

Keep a record of every time, then take take her back to court. It’s better to show a pattern of breaches than a few occasions

[Sick of it allParticipant]

Find yourself a good McKenzie friend, they are very helpful

[Sick of it allParticipant]

Man you are not alone. I’ve seen my girls for 4.5 hours in the last three months (only slightly better than your situation).

We also went to alicante for IVF using donor eggs and my sperm. I take great pride in knowing that my girls do not have any genes from my wife.

My advise is sack solicitors off and find yourself a good McKenzie friend. My McKenzie friend was worth his weight in gold when he came to court with me to advise what to do about the malicious false allegations she used to get a non molestation order on me.

I’m the end it worked out well for me as the orders are still in place but no facts have been found and I have not accepted an allegations so she can’t use it against me when I apply for a child arrangements order soon.

Mate it is hard, my girls are nearly 2 and they are probably nearly talking now and I’ve missed out on that. I keep positive by thinking that one day I will have a meaningful relationship with my girls. As hard as it is we have to rise above all the shit and stay positive. Do what ever it takes (legally) to see your son.

I cry daily and go through a rollercoaster of emotions every day.

[Sick of it allParticipant]

Dude apply for a child arrangements order. Also lay the bottle down because if you get accused of having a drinking problem you may be ordered to do an alcohol test.

Does your non molestation order state any findings of fact? I accepted mine purely because I found it out won’t show on my DBS check for work so I don’t care that it’s in place. I did ask them to write on it ‘upon no findings of fact and upon the respondent not accepting any of the allegations.’ If there is no findings and you havn t accepted any allegations, a non mol order won’t stop you getting fair child arrangements but unfortunately you will have to take it to court so they can tell her when you can see your children.

If you can afford it, get some advice from a professional McKenzie friend. They have been through what we are going through and the experienced ones are worth their weight in gold. They are far cheaper than solicitors.

Mate I enjoy a drink too but because I am applying for child arrangements order I am staying clean until I get what I want because there has already been accusations of binge drinking.

[Sick of it allParticipant]

Good luck man! The water works won’t go down well, the court will see it as a sign of guilt (I have heard)

Just don’t get angry, at the end of the day the courts won’t care about any thing else other than the children. Nothing will happen to her for being proven to lie. Let me know how it goes.

[Sick of it allParticipant]

My advise man, fight the non mol order by having it over turned and then with the child access just argue that there is no reason for you to have supervised contact in a centre.

I’m kind of going through the same thing, have my fact finding hearing for the non mol order next week. I have been forced by her self referral to see my child in a contact centre…. fucking bull shit! I am going to offer an undertaking, if she doesn’t accept it in pretty sure that non of her allegations will be seen as domestic abuse. I will then invite her back to mediation, but I think shebwoul refuse or won’t let me see my children out of the contact centre (which is open for 2 hours every 2 weeks) so I reckon I will have to take her to court for access.

[Sick of it allParticipant]

Mate I have a similar scenario and I don’t know how to deal with it.

I had my non molestation order extended to stop me going to my daughters nursery purely because I turned up there to see them as my wife wasn’t let me see them. She told the court I was going to abduct them, but in her statement she wrote that I was abusing my parental responsibility because I went to see them without her authorisation!? That is the real reason she wasn’t happy about it.

When the nursery told her of my visit, she twisted every thing they said to the courts. Now I have sent her statement to the nursery manager and asked her to write me a statement. She has refused. I have tried to complain saying that how does the nursery have my children’s best interests in mind by supporting my wife’s bullshit statement!? What if there isn’t an emergency envolvong my children and my wife can’t respond? I wouldn’t be able to respond because I’m not allowed there.

May I ask how did you deal with the NMO order? I want to agree to an undertaking but unsure if she will accept it.

[Sick of it allParticipant]

Mate, look on google and find a Mckenzie friend. They are about £60 an hour and will charge between £275 and £400 to come with you to court. They are very useful as they are not in it for the money but are in it because they have been through this themselves. They will do all the court forms for you and prepare your paper work. The only thing is that in court, they can’t speak for you, but they can advise you what to say.

Find one on google and phone them. They will give you advise on your case on a free phone call. If you can’t afford a solicitor, this is your best bet.

[Sick of it allParticipant]

unless they have been trying to serve it on you for a while and you haven’t been in while they have been trying. Perhaps ring him back and ask for him to give you the details over the phone for the further hearing. That hearing is only for the courts to ask you if you accept any of the allegations or not. If you don’t then there will be a fact finding hearing.

have you thought about using a mckenzie friend instead of a solicitor? You will save so much money.

[Sick of it allParticipant]

Do not give your email address dude. You are not legally obliged to give any one your email. They need to serve it to you personally. It sounds strange for them to ask for your email. I had two people come knock at my door to personally hand me the order. Rather wait for that to happen

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