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Ok. We need information…
I personally had very little success with money from my Ex. But, I have heard of cases where the parents made a reasonable agreement.
Try your best to make a good agreement with her first. I know that may sound difficult – but court will cost time and money.Hey,
Sadly, this is the truth. She can just move unless you have an agreement, which you can attempt to block in court. I know of some cases where moves have been blocked but not that many actually.
She has actually done nothing illegal as she is the resident parent. Getting a lawyer now will only cost you lots of cash and wont change the fact.
get to court ASAP and start visitation… don’t let time pass as a new school, home and area for the kids will make it easy for her to demonise you.good luck!!!!
In my case there was an attempt to make a mutual undertaking. But, it just was an agreement, written by my ex, saying I would not see the kids again so I could not hurt them.
In my case the undertaking was a legally binding agreement between us that held far more weight than the actual family court. I know another guy who made a mutual agreement to make up for his violence. it just felt like a load of conditions to mitigate the risks for the mother. My gut feeling tells me to only agree to one if your guilty? Just my opinion… anyone else?
Ian,
Welcome to our world – its embarrassing that this still goes on but it does.
The molestation order does not have anything to do with the police. And actually they can send it by registered mail like mine was. The order comes from an accusation by your ex and does not actually need any evidence – just her say so. You will need to attend court to dispel it. It has nothing to do with the police but does tell you that your ex is playing hard ball. I laughed my way through my first two then the court ignored the last one (as I had not actually seen the kids on over two years).Also, as a side note – there will not be any comeback for her after she is revealed to be a liar. This is just part of the horrible process that we all have to go through.
Harry,
The best thing to do is work out a deal with the ex – court may not help and legally she holds all the rights. This will be a tough road if you don’t make a plan with her ASAP!Hey,
you seem to have a good frame of mind! I don’t know how any of us do it – but well done to you!!!! I also write a shed of crap on here to keep my sanity.If the two of you can make an agreement between you both – you can just ignore the courts and all the stuff connected to it. Try and create a legal agreement for visitation with her and let the rest be bygones. Obviously, let her think its her idea and move forward.
Well done dude!!!!
Holy shit – what a story.
This is a real positive step and I would say to keep her sweet! You now know her true feelings and can calmly refer back to them when she flips again (and she will flip again). Keep records, texts, videos and what every else you can just in case. I am so happy to hear your seeing your daughter! Try and keep the dialogue going with her and well done.
Aint it funny how the system allows for these mood swings and make adjustments for (not if, but) when the Mum freaks out and tells lies.
For me, I can see the benefit in having a solicitor start your case and show you the rope, as it were.
But, you do sound like an old pro to me and I think you representing yourself – at least for the next few months so you can pay off the old liar/swindler/lawyer would make sense.I have represented myself for 8 years. I haven’t won anything significant – but then I also haven’t lost both pride and money at the same time.
it is as easy as a letter to the judge to change to LIP. Good luck mate! also, there are people on here to help you with the next steps too!
Hey Dad-I-d,
This is a very close mirror to what happened to me. I truly believed there would be a punishment for my ex ignoring the court orders – nope. I was on the same road as you with my two daughters and one day I just never saw them again. it will be 10 years in December.
I started three cases at £250 each as the judge made a final order that was un-observed x3. Just had another letter this week saying “the judge accepts your letter but cannot respond as he has already given his final order”.I don’t know what you can do but here as all that I tried did not work. Website, social media, cards and letter.
My daughters are now 15 and 13 and do not want to hear from me… completely poisoned. I have been paying CSA for the whole time.
Every step of the way, I thought the court was going to help. It, in the end, only separated us further. The Mum carefully chose what to show the girls and has made me out to look like an evil person.
In the last hearing the judge ordered me to send them letters every three month and they can respond if they want to. I am not to contact them by social media (as they said they did not like it). the judge actually spoke with my daughters late last year and earlier this year. That sealed my fate when they said they would contact me when they were ready.
You need to keep contact any way possible and do NOT rely on court to solve anything. As your child gets older you need to have some contact with them – by any means. Once they are older, the judge will just ask the child and what they say will stick. No matter what the court says, the mum can just say NO at anytime and visitation stops. There will be no penalty, it will only appear like something will happen, but it wont. You need to make your own path to your kid.
My ex lives in Skegness – the end of the earth and home to more paedophiles per capita than any other area in the UK. Lincolnshire also has the highest rates of family abduction in the UK. If anyone on here live in Skegness you probably know my ex wife and are possibly related (if the current census information is to believed about in breading in this region).
It probably wont be a big deal… I missed a one in the middle of my hearings and I never came up. My wife missed almost all her deadlines and nothing happened.
Solicitors, Pfffffffff….
You are really in a funny situation… why are they so hot and cold? its a trip.
I think they are conflicted with doing the right thing and doing what they know they can get away with. I hope you are videoing these visits. A similar thing happened to me, just like what you are ding. Then one day out of the blue I was arrested for hitting my ex’s father. I did not have any evidence to say I didn’t (because innocent people generally don’t have evidence to say they weren’t somewhere). They knew where I was going to be and set me up. Luckily, there was a neighbour witness who saw that nothing happened but it stopped from seeing my daughters ever again… that was the last weekend. December 2007 – ten years on- and the system is still broken.
Just protect yourself. I really messed up and don’t want you to do the same thing.
Hold on. You are being asked to see your kids more often and she will drop the CSA payments? I don’t know about you but this sounds golden.
I have not seen my kids in over 9 years and have been paying the CSA lie clockwork for 11 years. If only I had the option…Tom,
There are three of us (I think)… with Antonia it may make a better news story? Who else is up for a trip to London? I know that is an easy thing to say. I am Milton Keynes and can work in London if needed for the day.
Let choose a nice sunny day and get few mugshots. I can print posters up to A1 or A0 size if needed.
Its been ages since a really good protest.
You have the tax credits? nice one! This means you are actually the parent with care in the eyes of the CMS.
One would suggest that you could seize an opportunity to take custody when the mother falters. No matter what Social say… uprooting the kids is one of their bugaboos. They say they hate it but then do it willy-nilly.
Hope you see your boys soon and you can get more control of the situation! I feel for you.
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