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XJ,
Looks you will be back in court again very soon, huh?
I would stick by your court order but be weary of your ability to abide by it. If your ex can prove the order is worthless than the court will probably agree with her.
As you know there is a distinct separation between the CSA/CMS and Family Courts (unless mum brings it up curiously). I am not actually sure where CAFCASS fits into this at the moment?
I fear your ex will go to court and say the old order is crap and I want this “XXX” to be the new visitation scheduled. It may be something you can never achieve because of the distance or it may be just below the lowest visitation threshold for the CMS/CSA. This should make sense to all the NRPs on the forum.Typically the order is only valid if all the conditions remain the same. But once your ex moved, she has a legal right to suggest the order is no longer valid – she just needs a judge to agree, which will not be a problem for her to find.
The system is shit and your exwife is as evil as mine. I am an 12 year survivor of the CSA and a 1 year abused client of the CMS.
They are a joke!
So she just left huh? What a horrible bitch. Do you know her new address?
Sadly, the only (legal) thing you can do is start court action at the new address and hope for the best. Let me know if you need to chat. This is going to be tough for a while.July 28, 2017 at 10:59 am in reply to: Recent ex partner wont allow me contact with my daughter with no legalities set #8671Hey Matt,
I bet the police love your mother-in-law now! lolThere are a lot of small things that are not going to matter once you get to court. Represent yourself ASAP and try to meet in the middle with your ex (solicitors are an expensive divider). The law is not kind and expect to have everything negotiated first by your solicitor, then by the judge and finally by the mother.
In real terms, none of the things you think matter, actually matter. Surname, birth cert, no criminal record or solicitors will probably have little effect on the court or what the mums wants.
Every situation is different and each court has different rules – this is one of our fights. keep us posted when you get to court and remember your daughter is the important thing and don’t make this about mum.
The sooner you can reach an agreement the sooner you can get back to being important to your daughter. Don’t give up some visitation to hold out for bigger visitation – it wont work.
This is just my advice – any others want to comment?What court is this? You need to get back to court asap for your 5 year old. The court will have NO jurisdiction for the 9year old and there is not much you can do about her within the law. But, at 9 there are other possible ways to have a positive affect on her life – but be careful if you try an use her to see your daughter. Dads very easily get mistake for stalkers…
You can appeal the residency order but it sounds like this is a very long story! The court made the decision to keep the daughters together most likely even with the classy grandmother’s influence.
I think starting court to see you daughter is probably the best move. The old order you had with your Ex does not sound valid any longer.
July 28, 2017 at 9:05 am in reply to: Mother keeps denying access to son, what are my options 're the legal route? #8669Drayan,
There is not a lot of info here but It sounds like court is your only option. The filing fee for court is a lot but after that is just time…
Do you have any written agreement now? Once you are in court you can just have that legally agreed with the judge. But, please be mindful, that threatening court is no threat to a mother. They can just as easily tell the court NO as they can tell you NO.If you think you work it out with her then do that – because I think one thing for certain is: once you start court action you will lose visitation until the court makes an order. That could take months…
July 28, 2017 at 8:58 am in reply to: Baby's mother taking me to court to change order to suit her and stop overnight #8668I assume you are representing yourself. There are a number of things that can happen but here is what I think will happen…
She will ignore anything you say or do outside of court and will file her c100 to change the order. You will have to give evidence why the order should stand.
Do you have examples of suggested dates for the over nights? Do you have any evidence disputing her claims (this is quite hard to find sometimes)?
She will go to court with loads of bullshit about how the child may be hurt by being with you over night. Please remember, that even if the judge agrees with you she can still pull the plug.I would: write the court saying you have suggested many dates for the ordered overnights and that the indecision is hurting the child and not the overnight stay. I would suggest you have kept the order and the relationship is going well and this is the next step towards co-parenting. You may have to wait until after Aug 20th to be heard – as this is the deadline.
I think you may just have to wait until the deadline and then ask the court to act. You cant stop her from wanting to change the order and can only wait and see.
What is good is that she seems to trust the court system and may one day obey the orders. This is itself is quite rare.
I’ve been playing the waiting game fro 11 years…
I agree. This is a very dubious request from your ex.
She may just want to be nosey and want to see the set – then again she may want to know what it looks like to be able to manipulate the situation.
Your call – but there are professionals who will do that with a court order too (CAFCASS).If you do let her come over, make sure you video everything!
Isdadmark,
This organisation exists because there is ONLY advice on how to get access. There is no answer…
ian,
My ex routinely broke court orders and the judge tried to enforce but I was met with a string of allegation why I should not see the kids. it stalled and stalled for over 9 years without one penal notice enforced.
But, that was my ex wife and yours may not be so slick (this is a compliment).
No enforced family court order is legally binding in criminal way nor is really biding in a civil way – but if your ex thinks bad things will happen if she does not follow it, then good.
You can get CAFCASS involved to make recommendations for the kids. This sounds like what you are talking about…CAFCASS will come to your home and do what is called the Welfare Check List… its a piece of piss and you will fly through it.
Good luck!
There is no way you can claim back the money. This is really sad to hear – but the law supports the resident parent moving if they feel it will benefit the kids in the long run.
Is there a chance you can visit less often but for longer? If that makes sense?Its shit to think another good father is having his children taken further away from him. I wish there was an easy answer for you dude. But there isn’t.
July 24, 2017 at 7:24 am in reply to: Been issued with a non-molestation order an occupation order #8629She is a Psychologist? Wow… there are larger implications for her if she make false allegations, especially with the police.
And good on you for recording or videoing everything!!!!! You guys still live together with the child in the marital home? wow – your bold! lolAllegations are just allegations in family court and don’t mean anything! Make a clear statement disproving each one with your evidence. You may be very surprised when the judge does a lot of listening but not a lot of acting in regards to these allegations. The judge will not want to disrupt the kids and will more than likely direct things towards leaving the kids where they are. Remember to focus on the kids and do not hit back at the mother unless it is relevant to the kids safety or schooling or…
You and your ex will have to agree on something at some point to have this first hearing mean anything.CAFCASS are the eyes and ears of the court. Her occupation has nothing to do with it in the slightest. Actually, the CAFCASS worker is probably closer linked to the factory worker than a psychologist. Also, may be a good time to note that she is a trained professional in manipulation and PA may become an issue later on? Just thoughts….
Mark,
Your legal team seems to know best here. I am slightly surprised you have a Shared Care Order – why did you give up resident parent status? This is what the problem is… as it looks to be a father v Mother battle and not a legal battle. Dads will lose those battles every time sadly.
I think she may be buffing but PSO is surely what your legal team is advising?
Antonia,
There is no easy answer to this except to only think abut the kids when writing any court document.If there are allegations you need to address these directly (as in: This did not happen or I was not there). Don’t get hung up on these as the court see them all the time and unless its criminal they don’t really mean anything.
The judge will only agree to what the mums wants or accepts. The final hearing is almost never a FINAL hearing and this decision has not more weight than any other judges decision so don’t treat this hearing like any other. This is one of the biggest Family Court smoke screens… If visitation is ordered you may want to think about asking for an attached “Penal Notice” or “Warning Notice” on the order. This is make it sound really important to the mother and might help. In actual fact the mother can totally disregard the court and do what ever they want – hopefully the mother in your case is not savvy enough to know this.
Good luck!
Jp1993,
What should I expect from my phone call with cafcass? – CAFCASS will go through a ‘welfare checklist’. Its all about the kids and is pretty basic, don’t worry about it. Also, try to never talk about the mother!!!!!! This is all about the kids!What should I expect at the 1st hearing? – Usually the first hearing will be to get the basics (essentially begging the mother to allow visitation). Unless there is a huge pressing issue the judge will try and get you two to agree on something. There is not magic answer to this question other than be calm.
Should I take any documents into court with me? – Chances are you will need nothing other than court documents, you will be nervous so have all the travel info and court papers in case you forget dates and times.
How should I word my intentions of moving? – Moving will really damage your chances of visitation… At this stage I would not even mention it as it is not important. See what visitation is agreed first, then your decision to move may change?
Be cool and remember: the judge will expect you and your ex to agree on something. If you do not agree then not much will happen at this stage. There is also a chance she will not turn up – – this happened many times in my case. Her not showing up is the best way to delay things. It will take the judge many “no-shows” before they make a ruling of any kinds, so I hope she turns up!
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