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Focus on what is right for your daughter. The court WILL take the mothers side and your daughters age will actually go against you as the common perception is children under 5 need mothers more than fathers. Making a plan to allow her visitation could go a long way in getting you residency.
Good luck – But in a fair world this wouldn’t even be going to court.
Your son is so young! lovely!
keep as much contact as you can with him and always be there! absent parenting is a long road. Good luck!July 14, 2017 at 7:46 am in reply to: URGENT HELP NEEDED WITH PROHIBITED STEPS ORDER APPLICATION #8550Can I ask again… if the daughter lives with you, then how is your ex taking her anywhere? Your child is most important and moving her is Not the right thing to do. Barnsey’s advice is sound but also consider who is the resident parent. If the daughter lives with you then you don’t need a PSO.
Stu,
AMEN!Spot on and I could not agree more. Seeing my daughters behaviour on Facebook from a distance worries me… but there is nothing I can do but deposit the £710 a month into their mums account and hope everything is going to work out.
Also, Parental Alienation is real and have devastating effects on everyone.I think one of the big reasons that Fathers Rights has never really progressed is the timelines. The court bides its time until it can say the kids are old enough to make their own decision and then closes the case (11 years in my case). The missing father eventually gives up because his kids have moved on and then stops fighting for his rights… Even Matt has changed tack after having contact with his child.
My children’s image of their father is lie. My children don’t know their father because of bad mothering by the courts agreement.
In the states someone would just get a machine gun and shoot as many family court judges as possible and it would be a national debate. Over here we just sulk off into the distance… something in the middle should done.
I think what I am trying to say is: Why have you just assumed that SHE is the resident parent? My solicitor made the same decision for me, my ex moved against the PSO and I never saw my kids again. 9 years and counting…
I am not sure how much more evidence you need to take custody. Surely, If you were the resident patent then she would have to take you to court?
The PSO is valid for the length of time set by the judge (it was different for me in different courts) but my ex just ignored the PSO and did what she wanted anyway without consequences. Your solicitor will lead you down the road suggesting the court has power – it does not. But, your ex wife my not know this now… but she will figure it out.
Best of luck and let me know if you need more help.
I don’t understand – they live with the mum and you cannot pick them up because she will be there? Who told you that you cannot pick up your kids???
Sound like the school is trying to stay out of the issue and do not want any dispute between you and your ex effect any of the other student by asking you to not pick them up. I could be wrong?Stuart,
Here is what I would do. This is just my opinion… but it comes from 11 years of watching my ex destroy my children’s (and my) life.
Do you have the tax credits/child benefit for your daughter – is it in your name for the house hold??? If so, then you are the resident parent and you do not need a prohibitive steps order as she has no right to take the child.
Video and photograph her when she is high and with a crack pip – build as much evidence as you can. You need report your ex as a hazard to YOUR daughter and remove her from the home and demand she go into rehab before she can see her daughter again.
Then call the CMS and raise a claim against her and you can then truly protect your daughter.Social Services would wonder why you are allowing your daughter to live with a drug addict wouldn’t they??? What you think if she moved with your daughter into a house with other addicts? this is a possibility and you need to be pre-emptive.
The law will ALWAYS side with the mother so you need to make this lock tight.Throw her out, Child Tax Credits, CMS, no visitation until rehab. Just my thoughts.
You are being walked over but there is little you can do about that now. Don’t block things just because you can – and legally you cant.
Stay strong and pursue the police and family court! You can only control what it within your control – make this about your son and not the hate for your ex or the system that is designed to hurt children.Stu,
I feel your pain – we all do. Really!
The system is SO broken and anyone who becomes part of it is in shear disbelief. We live in a TOWIE society now.I know that Guy Richie and Madonna went to court over their 16year old at Christmas 2016 and there was an order given for him to stay with his mother in the states, even though he wanted to be with his Dad here in the UK. The law is differnet in the states (I’ve been through both systems and they are very different!!!!!!) This is the only thing that springs to mind.
Keep the faith!!!!
If I read this correctly: the school is refusing access to your kids? All schools must respect parental responsibility and cannot come between the children and their parents.
I am guessing the mother told you this? If you have a letter from the school – they are breaking the law. If you are denied access to your kids at school – they are breaking the law.I am happy to give the Head Teacher a call for you and explain the issue.
Stu,
Your are in tough spot that probably only time can fix. The law uses an expression ” wants and needs of the child” when making decisions. Are you currently in family court with her?
CAFCASS will definitely side with her – but will flag up the illiteracy and non-school problem as this sounds like two of the only things you have to grasp too. My daughters were allowed to make their thoughts represented in court at the age of 12 (judge said girls mature faster than boys???). With the years of poisoning from the mum my visitation fate was sealed as they said they were “happy with mum” too.This will be a tough fight but may only be your sons decision from here out, I am afraid. You may be able to persuade the court to act and CAFCASS can write a mission reports but… by the time any of this happens he may be 15 or even 16 by then.
There will also an issue of CMS coming too, beware.
July 10, 2017 at 7:42 am in reply to: "Help needed" representing yourself in court what to do and expect #8520Good luck and let us know if you need anything! Even a pep talk!
I can be there – just need to know when. Bobby Smith is a grand idea!!!!
July 10, 2017 at 7:36 am in reply to: Chronology for court – what should/shouldn't be included? #8518Ok. The Chronology is only her opinion and NOT a court fact! I assume this is in Family Court??? I repeat, her Chronology is NOT the courts Chronology just her perception of events. Make sure you dispute every single allegation with specific words like “I did not do that and there is no evidence to suggest I did”. This is where the courts are a shambles and one sided… mothers can just say what they like and the father has to prove it a lie. It is very hard to prove innocence and best to just dispute all the allegations as fabrications without evidence and a waste of court time. But, there is no mechanism to stop the mother from continuing to lie forever. 11 years and counting for me (my kids are teenagers with an evil image of their father now).
There is something you learn fairly quickly in family court – never let the lies get you angry. They will keep coming and you just have to ride them out. But ultimately, If you deny them with evidence then the court will get tired of them and they will slow down.
This is about the kids and the kids only. if an allegation is not about the kids then demand they are removed from the chronology as they are not relevant, then you can focus on disproving the ones that effect the kids. But, remember again, that not much of this will matter if she agrees to visitation. It only feels like a huge deal now!
Let me know if you want to chat about it and I can tell you my story for reference.
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