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Hey. Slow down… think…
You say she is on the mortgage? If so then should she not help pay for it? That could get sticky.The Police will not care about visitation, they will pretend to care but are powerless to do anything. Push forward with having her arrested but you CANNOT just go and collect your son. She is the resident parent and you need to have her permission to see him as it stands at the moment. The court are the only legal way to have access to your son.
Let us know if you need help with that.Good luck!!!!!!!!!
Sounds good to me! We need to decide when and get a few more people and some press. Does Matt ever get involved in this stuff or is it always splinter cells of F4J that do it?
Late July looks like a good time… that is soon but doable.Ok, there is a lot her – but you are now understanding how bad the law discriminates the father!
You must press charges and start family court action ASAP. The chance of you seeing your son was slim anyway without the charges but that is just my opinion. Press charges against them both – this may not help with custody but it will stop it from happening again.
Why are you paying the mortgage or are you in the house? During the divorce a lot will happen and you have to video everything for evidence. You have ripe one here – just like my ex.Children are just money machines to these type of evil mothers. You know what is best for your son and try and get something in writing in regards to your visitation.
Here is another option. Do you have the child tax credits or child benefit in your name – this would make you the resident parent until court decides differently. If so you can protect your son from his evil violent mother with police protection if you press charges. just saying…
2015 was at The Radisson Blu, Portman, London
2016 was at The Glaziers Hall, Londoncant find the venue for the 27th July event, but this would have all the usual suspect there. Is it a good idea when children are present?
https://www.gov.uk/government/groups/family-justice-young-peoples-board
The words of the Government: The FJYPB sets its own annual priorities, however various agencies within the family justice system ask it to undertake work on their behalf. Recently this has included work on:
•transparency in the family courts
•child-inclusive mediation
•the vulnerable witnesses working groupthe site it two years out of date…
I see Brian Hitchcock (Mens Aid) was at the January Open meeting. This looks to be a very secret and stealthy meeting… surely they have had a few more than one this year.
They all seem to be attending the The Voice of the Child conference which will take place on 27th July 2017 in London.
The FJYPB (Family Justice Young People’s Board), what ever the hell that is… google says it is a board of over 40 young people between 8 and 25 who have been part of the family court in the past. Well, this sounds interesting…I think we are both close to North London, where are you? I’m in Milton Keynes… which one has the nicest office nearest to a media outlet?
Anyone else for a nice day in the sunshine???? Do we were Marvel or DC???
July 6, 2017 at 3:01 pm in reply to: "Help needed" representing yourself in court what to do and expect #8498Danny,
It would not just look bad if you refused visitation it WOULD be bad. The reality is: you may never get what you are asking for… and the only thing you can do is try and build the strongest relationship with your kids as you can, so that when they get older they will make their own decisions.
In my cases, well my case has never ended (11 years and counting) so you can obviously have an ordered visitation with the court and continue to try for more. Again, in my case the exwife was constantly changing or denying visitation so we never stopped making court dates.
Hope that helps!
Start court ASAP – it may work? It is the only thing we have other than grovelling to the mother of our children.July 5, 2017 at 2:37 pm in reply to: "Help needed" representing yourself in court what to do and expect #8490RHART,
You are really up against it when the ex has experience with the system. Best to start a new thread and we can all answer your questions.
She can make any allegation she wants to the court and they have to act – Also, the Cafcass report will be written from her perspective because she is the resident parent. DONT LET THIS GET YOU DOWN. They system is sad but everyone knows what is going on and it is not personal (other than the attack from your ex). Continue with court and video everything for evidence.. you may need it later. You will need to settle all disputes with her if you want visitation – the court will pretend it is in control when actually she can change her mind anytime she likes. Be strong and fight on.Danny,
You only need to communicate with you ex really (or her solicitor). The judge will aske you direct questions and it is sometimes good that you are not really an outgoing person. You CAN have supervised visits or any kind of visits and continue with court. My thought is to write a letter to the judge saying you are not having visitation and need the old case reopened. Did you have a final hearing in the previous case?Steve,
Well, you sound like you are dealing with this quite well considering everything. Preserving visitation should be the number on thing at the moment. Not sure exactly who to anticipate her next move but the law does protect her in almost everyway. She could make allegation after allegation against you but… eventually she will hang herself and all her credibility will be lost with the police.
Family court is another matter as she does not actually need any evidence to stop visitation. Even if you stop mediation and go to court the court order or “child arrangement order” is worthless if she changes her mind again.
Money was my big issue with my ex. as soon as I made arrangements to stop paying the mortgage AND giving her weekly cash I virtually never saw my kids again. So be careful…If you continue to have visitation her allegations will mean nothing other than threats in family court. But be sure to video as much as you can because you may need evidence down the road. My daughters grew older but were eventually poisoned to hate me and their grandparents – so even when they did speak directly to the judge they did not say anything favourable about me. For 9 years I have written letters and on occasion get a sarcastic message on social media from the oldest.
Keep visitation any way you can for now… Just my opinion.
Well spotted Tom!
They might get the exact info from the DWP If you are struggling to get the info to them but he is totally right, I had just assumed that you had notified them….Yes, if you represent yourself you can write to whom ever you like. Why on earth people get solicitors is beyond me but that is another story.
Make sure the court is aware of you representing yourself and then fire away. I wrote letters twice a week to my Ex’s solicitors because it cost money for them to read them… But, I only ever made any advances when we were in court – so write the solicitor but also contact the court!
Good luck and you are on the right track without a solicitor.
NO but yes – because it is based on you salary at any given time and not your yearly salary. You will still be liable for any arrears. So if you made £1000 week for 26 weeks you will still have to pay the CMS on that amount weekly with the arrears carrying over (this will not go away) but from now you will only pay the minimum.
That being said, your arrears payments can only be a percentage of what you receive as an income (usually based on a two year payback cycle).So it may sit on your account until you get another job. It wont juts disappear unless she strikes them off or you reach a Family Based Arrangement.I think the minimum payment is £5 a week. Well, it was many years ago when I ‘negotiated’ my CSA payments.
July 4, 2017 at 7:10 am in reply to: "Help needed" representing yourself in court what to do and expect #8478Danny,
In my experience once allegations start they don’t stop for a while.. my ex kept coming up with something new until one stuck. I videoed much of my time with the kids (sadly this was years ago before modern smart phones) to prove we were where we said we were and having fun. I did this as evidence to the police and family court. I also kept receipts and facebook check in etc.
Most allegations in family court will mean nothing if it doesn’t effect your daughter… so be cool and NEVER get angry in front of the judge no matter what nonsense your ex comes up with.The long and the short of it is: your ex will soon learn that she can just make allegation after allegation without any consequences. I am not saying this will happened to you but it has happened to many on this site. You will have to defend yourself against the allegations – family court is not like criminal court. She may through enough shit that something might stick.
On the bright side – sexual assault is usually their final attack and you have survived it – she may have nothing left in the tank. Lets hope so.Lets hope that doesn’t happen. Keep the faith and be the best dad you can. let me know if you want to chat about it.
Hello,
the CMS base the resident parent on child tax credits or child benefits – so who ever has residency can claim the money. That’s the law.
So, you need to get the HMRC to believe you are the resident parent. Also, how old is your son. He may be of an age to just move in with you. Usually about 14 is the age…Because she is the resident or receiving parent (and the woman) she can almost do what she likes. The court is the only way to slow her down but honestly there is no set rules to what they might decide.
I suggest going back to court and having CAFCASS consider your sons wished and feelings, then apply for 50/50 or even custody. Only then can you stop paying CMS, unless you agree with her for the child benefit.
The CMS is not protecting the kids no matter what anybody tells you especially from the million twisted websites supporting what they do. Children equals cash to many mother including my exwife who has a few with a couple different fathers.
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