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Tom,
this is the way to do it. Sadly, I am not in the same position as you are.Madison18702,
How did they find out about your finances? Your accountant can help hide things better than anyone… maybe Tom can help too?June 16, 2017 at 1:38 pm in reply to: I am going to move in with my brother can she get me kicked out? #8366If I understand you correctly: she has moved out of the marital home with the kids and you want to move in to give support?
I don’t see why not – infact this seems quite reasonable if your brother needs support. How can she have you removed if she doesn’t live there? If she returns to the house she would have to settle that with your brother. I assume they are married, in which case all assets are communal. She does have the right to throw anyone out if your brother says they can stay.The only issue I see here is you being brought it to the middle of everything. Women have a brilliant way of making you out to be a villain with false allegations and the like. The family court works in mysterious ways so record everything and maybe even get CCTV if you think she may pop over and pay you a visit.
Also, the kids have a right to be home and NOT in danger bouncing around refuges. I also assume that there is no merit to the reason she left (ie no police involvement).
Keep strong and carry on!!!!
Sadly, there is no correct answer to any of this. We are here to help each other with F4J support on the bigger issue.
The forum can help with questions if you have one. Fire away… might be best to start a new topic and we can help answer your query? Be warned, there is often no correct answer – this is the reason the group was formed in the first place.
I think your question was around whether she can decide if the child can go in light aircraft? yes, she can if she is the resident parent. If she feels that there is a risk to the child then she can call a halt to visitation. The law is not fair…
Was that your question? Here to help if needed.
June 16, 2017 at 7:14 am in reply to: Mother of my child denied my right of taking my son for holiday outing. #8355Well,
Shared Parenting is what this group is actually fighting for and I don’t think there is a defined “Shared Residence”. If you lived with your kids then you would be the resident parent and you would be able to travel with them. You can travel with them now but only with the resident parents permission. If you were the resident parent you would not need permission…
If you pay maintenance to the mother – then there is almost NO way you can do it without her OK. Sad fact but that is the truth. It can be ordered by a judge but that may still only be after her say so.It is a horrible world we live in! My mother travelled twice in the same summer from the states to see her Grand Daughters on for them to not show up at the hand over location. Some mothers are just plain evil.
Keep your chin up and try and negotiate.
The CMS will make their final decision (after a mandatory reconsideration) – then you can take it to the ICE. Even after that, you can have your MP write to the Minister of the DWP for clarification. But, after the CMS decision you are liable to pay the amount while any appeal is going on. This does not operate like normal business practices.
You are allowed to make payments based on a two year payback schedule. Hide as much money as you can now so your payments may be small until you get the appeal sorted. Perfect world is: the CMS realise their mistake and fix it – you need to give them all the evidence. I assume your ex told them about the money. I cant figure out how they found out in the first place…
June 15, 2017 at 7:04 am in reply to: Mother of my child denied my right of taking my son for holiday outing. #8328I am sorry to hear this but it is the way the law works. You would have to get her agreement (or court order) to take him out of the country. Unless you normal visitation is 12 days long – does that make sense? Because she is the resident parent the rules are different for her. ie: she can do what she likes and you need permission.
I had a similar situation and was unable to visit the states with my girls. But, their mum happily took them and showed me the pictures.
Keep the faith and you never know… she may see the light.
Gross Income. Check out the Calculator – https://www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance
There are a few things that can lower it. How often you have over night visitation and if you have other children living with you. These can all lower it a little but it is still a good chunk.
There are a couple way to pay also – but I would definitely choose the direct pay. AND KEEP RECORDS!!!!!!!!!! ALL RECORDS!!!!!!!
Danny,
My advice would be to only speak in positive terms when filling in the forms. If there have been an false allegations they have not been said to a judge yet. Don’t give them weight and focus on the needs of the kids!!!! don’t get hung up on hate from the mum – there is going to be loads of that later. CAFCASS and the judge only care about the kids (and making sure mum does not get angry).
This is my opinion, but if you mention the allegations they then become part of the hearings. Let her be the arsehole – take the high ground.Good luck chap!
There is a thing called the Welfare Check list. They go through this and file a report. Sadly there is no actual rhyme or reason to how they come to their personal conclusions… and this may make a difference to the judge.
is a good site to scan. Also the CAFCASS site itself has some valuable info on the Check list.
In my case, CAFCASS met with me and asked very simple and decent questions and I was able to show that I was a good father and trusted member of society. But remember, it is all about the kids and NOT about you so portray how little a disruption it would be for them to move in with you.
Best of luck – I am rooting for you!If you are married or in a partnership – you can just move back in. But, be careful of false allegations and her playing the victim of violence. Video record EVERYTHING, you will need to have evidence that you are innocent (she does not need evidence to accuse you). Also, never let the kids see you get angry! They will only remember you for one or the other (angry or happy) years later.
Good luck and be careful!June 13, 2017 at 11:47 am in reply to: After bad advice from solicitor I don't know what to do. #8316Danny, You have some tough decisions to make. But, if there was one thing I would have done differently many years ago would be to make peace with the ex as soon as you can. The angrier she got the less I saw the kids (the system is stacked against us and I went to court only to lose). If you can somehow find some common ground now you may save yourself from the evils of tomorrow.
But, this is a slippery slope as she can take all she can now and still screw you. Be careful and only try and make deals for the kids and not for her. If that makes sense.My ex agreed to visitation if I gave her the house and all the savings – she accepted everything and then refused visitation. 9 years and counting for me, but my financial debt continues…
Good luck and keep us posted.
June 12, 2017 at 3:20 pm in reply to: After bad advice from solicitor I don't know what to do. #8308Hey Danny,
this is a story we hear all too often. Here is the law: The resident parent gets to call the shots with the courts really favouring the mother. You losing 50/50 may be about money as much as anything. 50/50 means you pay nothing a couple days a week and you pay a shed load.
There is not much you can do other than start court action now. Once you left the house you gave up residency and she obviously got legal advice. It is common for lawyers to assume every other weekend and possibly one night during the week as the accepted visitation schedule. Your lawyer will be happy to take your money and probably thinks they have done you a favour by getting the “norm”. I am being honest when I say, it is a very very slim chance you will ever get 50/50 again unless your ex has a serious issue which stops her and her mum from caring for Hunter.Start legal proceedings and push forward. You will be happy you started something asap, but be ready for a lot of heartache and nonsense from the other side. There may be allegations of all sorts to keep you away. Accept to keep visitation going but never agree to HER new decision. You will need to prove the kids is better off with you then her – a very hard battle.
It is cases like this that fills fathers4Justice with members.
June 12, 2017 at 7:26 am in reply to: Girlfriend Pregnant does not want me to have anything to do with baby #8289Hey,
Sadly, there is nothing you can do. And even if/when the child is born there is little you can do other than take her to court. Without an address or other information it will make it very very hard.
Any info on social media or mutual friends you can troll to see if there is news?
Legally you are only a Dad after the child is born and then it is only in name and wallet.I really hope this works out. So sad.
He attack on you will end. You just need to keep evidence, remain calm and push through. It will feel like nobody care and then… Boom, it all comes out in the end. But, you are not wrong, the system allows the mother to be hysterical and will forgive her for the allegations. You will not be as lucky… but fight on.
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