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June 9, 2017 at 9:06 am in reply to: My sons mother has a 10 month suspended sentence for gbh on her new/ex boyfriend #8285
Is she on bail? David is right – if you have parental responsibility then you can act! Once you have him then change his school/daycare to one near you and make a home for him. Then apply for child tax credits asap. this small legal move makes you guardian in the eyes of the CSA/CMS and will have weight later on when mum turns up.
hope that helps.
June 9, 2017 at 9:01 am in reply to: Transfer of deeds before I get my property from the house #8284Yes. If you are still married you can enter the house anytime and get your stuff. It may be best to contact the police to say you want to visit to retrieve your things from the house and would like them to attend. Show them all documents and video record everything showing you only collected your own things.
If you are married then everything owned in communal and you could just rock up and take what you like from the house when she is away. She will kick off, but legally there is nothing she can do.My ex did it to me – gutted my new flat while I was on holiday as we were still legally married. I then saw her dad wearing my jacket on facebook. WTF – sometimes you have to laugh. If I had known, I would have left a present in the lining.
good luck
Dude – I am so sorry to hear this.
You need to prosecute and start family court… keeping in mind the criminal court is far more reliable than the family courts. There will be further pain and suffering from the family courts which will not be nice.Here is my opinion, but I hope someone else can give theirs too: She is making all the usual threats many ex-wifes make – focus on the child when you are in family court and use all criminal convictions against her. Also, call Social services and give them the evidence of abuse to you and that it WILL transfer to the child. Attack on all fronts and do it with your parents as their support for the child will matter down the road as a stable environment as your ex- will try and destroy your credibility in both court.
Also, If you think the child is in danger, the court may ask why you have waited so long to do anything. The rules are not the same for men and women… but you know that.this is just my opinion …
It sounds like you had an active court order? – I really don’t understand the new C100 and I would speak with the Citizens Advice Bureau, remember to bring all your info with you!
I fear the experts advice will make ever being known as her father unlikely. Also, try and strengthen the relationship with the Great Aunt and Uncle – they will need support and help eventually and you need to be there. The court will obviously try and keep the sisters together which may alienate you further.
Be strong and also be happy that your daughter is being cared for by family and not the mother (or even worse Social Services).
Can anyone else out there help??????????????? this guy needs it!
Hey,
No and yes, but that is not all bad and don’t get down, yet! she is just going through the designed pattern lawyers usually go through. The judge and CAFCASS will see though it all and pretend to not take sides but it all really comes down to her and what she wants. The rest is just talk -the judge and everyone else will only consider the kids – so…. if the kids are not in danger ALL THE REST DOESNT MATTER. Her attack is on you and the court can stop her from doing it. Also, there does not have to be any merit in her allegations for the court to hear it. You can not get angry and keep saying it isn’t true.
But, eventually she will hang herself and slowly her allegations will have less and less value.You cannot get angry as it will prove her right. Or at least that there is an issue…
In my case I recorded all communications and proved her wrong over and over again – I got angry once in court and the whole thing started all over again.This will be a long road but it will be the mums final say and not the judges – so don’t worry about the allegations (really)… they don’t actually matter if she allows you visitation. This is just my opinion.
Alan,
The law does assume that all served statements are sent to both sides. CAFCASS will send you the report and you are VERY entitled to see it before any hearing! You are also entitled to see your ex-wife’s statement prior to court. But, here is where it gets sticky…
The judge did not specifically say to file to her (and I doubt she will send hers to you). So the choice is yours. My gut feeling is: If you don’t get one from her on July 5th, then don’t send her your statement on the 19th. But do obviously send it to the court.This is actually a small matter in the big scheme of things. in my case the wife NEVER sent any statement to me and I always had to call the court and have them sent it to me. But never go into court unless you have seen the evidence.
It will get rough, but keep your chin up!
The court can issue a 91(14) order which can stop you from opening a court case for a specific amount of time. In my case it was two years, and then the attached information for ‘why’ was lost by the courts. It is not very clear what the rules are and, no matter what lawyers tell you, there is no rhyme or reason to what the court rules. 90% is what the mum wants.
fight on best of luck!
How were you removed – is this now an on going criminal investigation? Are you on bail?
This is a really tough situation for your 9 and 7 year olds and you need to make sure you don’t lose contact with them as the oldest will have a clear memory later.
Also, leaving the country is not as illegal as I once thought and my ex does it routinely without consequences.What steps have you taken so far and I assume your divorce is in decree nisi?
Hang in there.
Sounds like, to me, Court is the only option left for you. File the C100 and represent yourself. lawyers did nothing for me but separate me from my money and kids. The F4J position is to represent yourself.
This forum can help once you get started and there are many avenues for advice! Hey, keep your chin up and remember to always be positive when your with your kids or in court!!!! no matter how shit it is… be cool.
This is quite vague. But, if you feel the child is in danger and you believe you have evidence of criminal abuse (not just name calling) then you have an obligation and responsibility to contact authorities.
With more details, I am sure there is someone else who may be able to give exact instructions.
David has good advice. Remember to keep records and you must be able to prove your ex’s mental health – don’t rely on hearsay.
good luck!!!
Wow – you are not the only person to have this happen to you. It has been on this forum a few times, so rest easy knowing there is people in your situation. That being said, there is no quick fix to this.
There are a few things you need to do ASAP.
1. Never let the kids see you angry – how old are they?
2. Never talk to your ex without recording it or videoing it.
3. Don’t leave the house if you can help it. Even if she changes the locks it is still yours until you settle financially. This means: if you live there then you don’t have to pay maintenance and you will have a better chance to retaining the house after the divorce. You will also be able to show you are the nice parent and the mum is insane.
4. Remember the kids are probably hiding from the situation and not from you. I am certain the mum is trying to alienate you – so be cool and ride this out. Kids are smarter than we think sometimes.
5. Let mum hang herself – eventually her false allegations will ruin her reputation with everyone (police, Social Services, Court)This is a long road but if you do the right things now you can avoid a lot of hurt later.
This is just my advice – ANYONE ELSE HAVE ADIVCE???
Keep us posted…
Liam,
This is an awful story but very common and you are not alone.Are you still hoping she will return or have you settled on what’s happened? How much evidence do you have to suggest she is mentally unstable? If you are sure she is unable to care for the child, and you can, you can take custody? The child would be happier in his own bed in in his own house? She would then have to prove she is fit for visitation and not the other way. This is risky and may not suit your work schedule? You would literally have to take the child home and protect him there. If you are to make this choice you better do it ASAP – as the longer the child is away the more likely his new home will be considered home. Sadly, home is usually determined by where the MUM lives…
But, what she has done is not unusual and there is little you can do other than stay on her good side to avoid going to court.
We can help no matter what direction you take but there is no set rules in these type of cases. Also, this is just my opinion and others may have other examples/advice.
keep us posted
Soon you will tire of being ripped off and misled by your solicitor and represent yourself. But, maybe not – if your ex believes the solicitor has any power it my work out with out having to go to court. If you start court and your ex is still saying “NO”, then I strongly suggest representing yourself (with a simple letter to the court) and proceed that way.
Do keep us posted.
Looks like court is your only option. _ I would also video every exchange with her too. Even phone calls if you can…
Sounds like she is already into attack mode and will soon find out that there is nothing that can stop her. She CAN keep creating false allegations (which eventually will ruin her rep with police and social services.Hang in there and start the court process. we can help you through it. But, it wont be easy.
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