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Sadly, you cant control it you can only hope to contain it. You need to go to court and show that the mediation has not worked “because she broke the agreement”. Court is not perfect either and it will be a battle either way…
At least in court the judge sits in between you and gives some authority – even if it is an illusion. Your ex may respod differently if she is told by a judge?
This is my only advice other than stay true to your daughter and never let her see you angry!! its been over 9 years for me without visitation so be cool and ride the storm.
This was very vague but I hope it helps and I am happy to help with more direct questions too. Keep the Faith
Let her hang herself. She is not special nor different from any one else – and actually sounds exactly like my ex. The system seems to groom them to act a certain way…
Your kids will see it eventually and you have to remain happy to see them! You know all this so sorry to repeat it.keep the faith and let us know how it goes.
http://www.mediationmk.org.uk/
Ash is spot on here… Mediation my work but it will cost you about £80 to find out. It did not work for me but it is legally binding (only if she agrees to it in front of the judge). My thoughts are: the judge or CAFCASS does exactly what mediation does, in a way.
Keep the faith!A similar thing happened to me. My ex asked to make sure the kids were strapped/belted in safely before I could drive away. I collected my children from a police station car park in Skegness, of all places. Just go with it and laugh. Let her do what she has to do – and I actually think the Judge will laugh this off. You have more to lose by not just doing it…
But so silly. This is a great example of insanity and narcissism
Brilliant! Keep the faith, Brother! And video/recording everything in a smart move (I wish I did) … she sounds like she proud to lie and cant keep it in. Bizarre carry-on but glad you are managing it. My ex will keep a lie until she’s dead.
Ok, it is a bit more clear – I went through a similar situation and I think I can help.
How did he pay her in 2012? does he have records of payments?
Also, it takes the CMS/CSA some time to enact a DEO so there must be record of it. I can help if you want to chat as it seems like there are a million issues here.
Email anytime and I am happy to talk to you both with some advice.
[email protected]What I meant to say was: you result is far better than most I have spoken with, which is great news!
Keep on being a great Dad and those kids will love you for it – no matter what Mum thinks!
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This reply was modified 8 years ago by
NHunt.
Ok – this does sound encouraging actually. You are in quite an advanced place and I think the judge will move forward with the order (is it the same judge every time?).
The Parental Alienation issue with the oldest one will be trickiest thing. But, remain positive and treat them right and they will stick by you. The oldest sounds like she is trying to protect the mum, which to me feels like early stages of PA. there is no easy answer for this other than remain a positive role model for her and always be available. Teenage girls will have trouble with their mother at some point and be ready for that!!!!
Best of luck and I think you have a good case to suggest continued contact (phone calls, Skype et al) with the kids if visitation does not happen that week. It appears like the judge has been using the guidelines on progression and I think you are in as good a place as can be expected. Your ex is still in charge and time will tell.
How old are the kids?
The judge should not make victims of the younger because of a decision the older one has made, or is making. But, every judge is different and there are not guidelines. Also, keep in mind the mother has ALL the power here and this can stop anytime with her say so…
Is CAFCASS involved? Evidence would suggest that you have now built up a meaningful relationship with the children to suggest normal visits (something like 4hours on a weekend or and after school afternoon out) – I think overnights is still some way off, but that is up to your ex really.
Can you try and establish phone calls or Skype or social media contact with the oldest. Kids communicate differently than we do these days and this may help. Sorry if I have it wrong – I’m just trying to find a solution for you.
There is hope!
But,there are a lot of questions here… but let me start by saying: there is no connection between payments and visitation. You have to pay no matter what – even if you never see the kids.9 years and counting for me. Sadly, women breed as a form of income. the law protects this. Also, family court and the CSA are two completely different things and will not intersect. So we will need to address each separately.She opened the CSA case in 2012 but then closed it? Do you have proof of an agreement of direct pay or of a family based arrangement? It sounds like the case has been open since 2012 and she is now saying that he has not made payments…
You don’t have to go to mediation if the other side refuses it – the mediator will give a notice period to the Ex and then give you clearance to start court. nothing happens quickly but it will happen.
Chin up!!!!
Hey,
You really do need a solicitor to work all this out – IS There anyone who may b able to help out there?All debt acquired during the marriage is both of your accountability equally… that being said it could take ages to work out each of your positions in court and by that time you have made a million payments to the loans and credit cards.
You mentioned £98,000 in equity on HER house – is that not half your house now?In my experience the court will still be very favourable to the woman but you do have a fighting chance here and don’t get pushed over.
Sorry I could not help more but hopefully someone else out there can offer something. Anyone… anyone…
May 17, 2017 at 1:30 pm in reply to: Wife wants to leave with the kids to France – should I contest in the courts? #8037I agree with Tom for the most part – you must get her agreement as the courts will not care.
also, something for consideration: you do NOT have to pay maintenance if she leaves the country. Is she relying on your money to move? Just don’t give it to her…
Hello,
Have you started court yet? any dates?
This sounds like you need CAFCASS involved ASAP and arranged court ordered visits. What do you mean ” an evaluation”? and by whom?
Another quick questions (and could this get any more Jeremy Kyle?): One may consider the children may not be his?
Sorry for the questions and don’t get hung up on the he said – she said as it wont really matter to the judge without CAFCASS sayings its a fact. The mum can, and will lie every second they are in court, there is nothing you can do about that other than ignore it and address the allegations.
Happy to help if you need it.
We are all in the same boat.
Consider representing yourself and saving the cash for maintenance. You will have more control when you represent yourself… we are here to help if you need it. there are many other resources too.
Chin up!
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This reply was modified 8 years ago by
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