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Flavio,
I admire your vigilance but (honestly) nothing will happen to her as she made the claim in family court and not in print or a “statement damaging to a person’s reputation”. Family court is a secret court that does not hold records, there for it is like it never happened.
If she has approached the police and they have ruined your reputation in anyway then you can use the Defamation Libel law guidelines. I have never done it but I read all about many years ago when I was in a similar situation.Laundah,
Continue with court as it is the only system in place to help – although it is a battle. You need to negotiate this with you ex as best as you can and hope for the best.Also, you are aware that if you leave the UK you will not be liable for Maintenance. Perhaps use this a bargaining tool for visitation now. If she agrees to allow visitation now then you will agree to make payments later after you leave the country! Worth a shot? It is that or a very long road in the courts.
Good luck with France and sorry to hear you out of contract. You didn’t play for the Worcester Warriors by any chance did you?
Spot on!
You sound like a great father who has done what he has to do to protect the children. Well done to you and take Daxdogdax’s sound advice. KEEP RECORDS OF EVERYTHING!You now have all the rights to protect your kids and don’t forget that. Also, she will have to apply to the court to even see the kids, let alone EVER have custody again.
On another note: Under the law you should contact the CMS for maintenance as she is legally liable to pay for children regardless of visitation. This depends on whether you want to go for the jugular.
Ro39,
WOW. You have been hit with everything that can go wrong at once. Just sit tight and protect yourself in the meantime… Video or record every visitation or communication with your ex or son!
Also, expect to be questioned/arrested by the police – this means nothing if you are released and bailed. So don’t let it get you down. They will only investigate once and then it will go away, most likely. If you have not seen your son then the new information must be so good that you will be arrested ASAP. Relax and let her hang herself a little.You may consider getting rid of your lawyer and defending yourself. She will know that the more she alleges the more it costs you. Allegations against me stopped once I represented myself in court.
The rest is Bullshit -The Nursery, Doctors and Hospital stuff… she is just destroying her own reputation and let her do it. You know the law and let her self destruct.
There is not one right answer but that is how I see it. Hope it helps.
May 16, 2017 at 7:26 am in reply to: Ex Wife lying to CMS about amount of nights a year children spend with me #8004Neil,
The CMS are just as evil as the courts but it is the system. John is right about getting evidence and try your best to come up with something until you can get a court order.It will get sticky from here. the system is designed for the mother to withhold visitation for more money. This is what we are all fighting against!!!! She will most likely smell money with the CMS unless you are prepared to pay over the odds to here directly? You will have to negotiate – but make sure you create a Family Based Arrangement with her!!!! She can always go to the CMS when ever she feels like it but if you have a FBA in place this will get very hard for her and she may give up.
My situation: I pay over £600 a month and have not had face to face visitation in 9 years. Nothing criminal or any huge orders but a mother who just doesn’t want me to see the kids and court system powerless to do anything about it. My children are victims of Parental Alienation and we have very curious/sporadic social media contact at present.
Iaink25,
been there done that. I used go pros around the house to protect myself. I first tried to install them openly but obviously she objected. She is clearly going to use your little one as a weapon to get to you – is the relationship strong with your daughter and the 3 year old? this may be the key later on when thing settle down and the parental alienation has started to kick in.
The Police have to investigate all allegations but are not total idiot (I hope) – she will be come known to them in time but certainly cover yourself as best you can.getting out of the situation is the best thing ASAP, until then it will be a bumpy ride…
Dale,
There is a lot to consider with this… I the long and the short of it is: CAFCASS call the shots and you need to somehow get on their good side, if you have any chance of visitation. Even with CAFCASS you can still lose visitation if the mother is evil enough. Don’t get too hung up on the court documents and dates and voided info. The court sounds like they are playing the usual game of waiting it out and letting it take its own coarse without a real judgement. The court does expect you to agree everything with the mother and only in extreme cases does a real judgement come.
Do you currently have any contact with your child (and how old are they?). Both these will make a difference in the future.You have the house and the child? Have you raised a case with the CMS/CSA?
well, I think that if you have all the cards – play them. This site it full of father who have been crushed by the system, I am sure we can help.
What is the direct question as I can t actually see an issue other than your ex is a mad woman?
This is a very familiar situation. Sorry to hear it – and for the record it is very similar to my situation.
Have you settled all other financial issues and are only paying CSA/CMS? The sad fact is once she has the children, she can say and do what ever she wants. This is something we all suffer…
Continue with court – it is the only thing we have and will make a difference once your kids get older. the system is a joke but its all we have.
Did you have an agreement already with your ex wife? was it written? how old was the agreement if there was one??
Ok – I know a bit about the CSA/CMS:
You need to separate the emotional issues with the financial issues. Your ex is trash and cannot be trusted, that is clear. But, in regards to the CSA they will attack you with all hell fury once she opens a case. None of the earlier issues about her or your character will matter to these emotionally void and rule book evils that work at the CSA.
Lets look for loop holes…
1. Did you open a case against her with the CSA many years ago ( or even 20mnths ago?). It is still valid if you did and are entitled to arrears if you were the resident parent. Nothing in the past may matter if you did not make the CSA aware. The CSA is the LAW and when they are on your side you are laughing!
2. What evidence does she have to say they are yours? Or evidence you have to say they aren’t? Are you on the birth certificate?
3. Do you have any contact with either child or has she alienated them both from you?CSAhell.com is a good site to ask direct question and I answer a few when I am on the facebook page.
It is wrong that she can do this – we are all in the same situation. Sounds like the kids have made the decision too and you must remain cool and deal with them individually. They will be the key to resolving this.
Gents,
WE HAVE TO HELP EACH OTHER – that is what a forum is and it is ALL we have.
My 9 years experience in the courts and with the CSA can possibly help. There are others who have similar experiences too…This is a very unique situation indeed.
One thing is very true: CAFCASS cannot demand anything nor even make such a recommendation only Social Services can. The Family Court Judge doesnt actually have the power to evict (and this is what it is, an eviction). Ignore CAFCASS as it doesn’t really mean anything.
If you leave the house you will lose everything one by one.
This system thrives on the assumed – ie it is assumed the mum will have custody and it is assumed that mum will screw you over financially and it is assumed, if neither of these go to plan, than the mum will then use the kids as a weapon to get what she wants.What if you challenge this by staying home and she can move out if it is so horrible? It sounds like your kids are quite happy with you at home. You work from home and can be there for them… I would argue that.
Are you legally divorced or in Nisi stage?
Hey,
CAFCASS are making recommendations about who should live in the house? Are you still living there?Once you leave the house you will lose it to her as it is the status quo for family courts to give the house to the resident parent. The kids are the CAFCASS focus and will almost always take mums word against yours if they are the resident parent… so… you can figure out the rest.
You do have to prove allegations are false. The family courts are not like criminal court and allegations can come fast and furious some times, especially when you prove them wrong over and over again.
What is it you are fighting for at the moment: the house (in county court) or visitation/custody (in family court) or both?
April 25, 2017 at 1:51 pm in reply to: Ex Partner sectioned, Grandparents applying for Residence order #7907Luke,
Quick questions: Where does your daughter live now? Does your court order say you have contact and are to return your daughter to the mother?What I did when my ex had a similar episode was: I went to normal visitation but when my ex wife did not show up for the return, I kept my daughters and enrolled them in school near my house and took “Parental Responsibility” for my girls as their mum was unable to care for them.
My ex then had to apply to the court as the Non-Resident Parent when she got out – her parents started a case but soon realised it would take far longer to fight then the time for the mother to return.Your case may not be exactly the same as mine so…
I assume you are the paying parent (NRP). If this is the case, then there is little you can do if she can prove that moving is a financial benefit or if there are legitimate reasons for the move.
Unless, your 13 year old daughter may be mature enough to have her feelings expressed though CAFCASS. This will be a decision by the judge.
Your lawyer can write a lot of letters and try to persuade her from loving but it looks like the decision has been made already by your ex. You need to attend court ASAP and prove the relocation will hurt the kids and hopefully the kids can voice their own concerns with a letter to the judge through CAFCASS.Moving out of the country can be blocked by the court – make sure you do that ASAP.
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