[NHuntParticipant]

HR1 Cert is a new one for me, sorry I cannot help with what that means – but there must be an appeals process for it.
Quick questions:
Are these her children too??? If so, this makes it a great deal harder for you.
Are you in NISI stage with the divorce? if so you are some distance from selling the house legally as it is half hers.
Within the courts system the house will probably stay with whom ever is the resident parent.
I have dealt with immigration also and this is a slippery slope which will revolve around the children too. If your children are British citizens then it is only a matter of time that she will be too – with or without you.

[NHuntParticipant]

Good luck, Mate! Small steps – but you are making the right trail…

[NHuntParticipant]

I went to Court in Lincoln and they required Mediation. But, I had my consultation with MIAM and they were able to confirm that I was exempt from mediation because my ex refused to respond after 30 days.
Now I paid for this consultation and has a meeting with the mediator – then waited for their response (I did make three phone calls to confirm everything).
It is my understanding that you MUST go through a mediation process before you can start court? Might be different in different areas??? What a great system!!??!!!

Either way the non-resident parent will have to pay for it. Proceed with mediation, if you have to, other wise go straight to court. But, never lose contact with your boy – even if it just a few hours a week. NEVER stop seeing him – even if you have to sell your soul. Out of site is out of mind at that age and your too good a father for him to lose you now!

Hope this helps.

[NHuntParticipant]

There is a way to file without paying the fees – double check with the Gov.uk site for Fee Waiver Forms.
gov.uk/help-with-court-fees

There are ways around if you truly cannot afford it. There is also ways to waive the mediation fees too.

My exwife knows exactly how to fill these out… and GOOD LUCK!

• This reply was modified 8 years ago by  NHunt.

[NHuntParticipant]

TCbed,

This is a horrible story and not that different from my own actually. My ex moved to Skegness with my two daughters (which may as well be the end of the earth). I have had the same threats and attacks and no-shows for visitations days. I have not had to travel like you but the poison from the ex is the same.
One day I arrived as was told I will never see them again – and I haven’t. 9 years later, I am still in court, and my ex brought my 14 year old Molly to court because she wanted to see what her father looked like. I only say this because building a relationship with your son is paramount!

I can only think of two possible options as your evil ex seems to know what to do to keep her benefits and your money coming in:
1. A possible move to NI? Maybe there is similar job you could walk into? a big ask, I know. The closer you are the better…
2. Skype calls or facetime calls during the week? as he get older this will mean a lot to him? even if they are sporadic, it is something!

Sorry that there is not clear answer other than the system is horrible. The system pays mothers to hide children from the fathers… a sad society indeed. I’m in MK and not far from you, I think.

[NHuntParticipant]

Flavio,

This is a sad story but I need to be honest:
She holds all the cards… if she says one day a week it will be one day a week unless you go to court and apply to have this changed. In my case, as soon as I went to court I lost visitation completely and have battled ever since. In fact, I have seen my girls once in 9 years (only a few emails and facebook messages).

Maintain your visitations and build a relationship with your daughter – if even once day a week. If your ex has already threatened to stop you seeing your daughter, then be thankful for one day a week. She holds the power to take her away forever. Your daughter and you need to build a relationship that cannot be damaged by anything the Ex says or does. As your daughter gets older this will get easier as she will be nudging her mum to see you. The two days a Christmas sounded like good days – make those kind of days count!!!!

Also, be careful spending to much money on solicitors – they can sometimes make this worse (and bankrupt you in the process). The system is NOT fair but you have to do what is best for Emma. Your ex wife sounds as evil and sad as my ex – they have no idea what damage they are causing to children until it too late.

[NHuntParticipant]

You can go to court without mediation. The mediators just need to agree that she refused. I (and MANY others) have done it this way.
MAIM signed their form saying they attempted to reach the mother but she refused mediation. You can send this form in with your C100. I believe it is Section 14 on Page 19 of your MAIN form. have them sign it and off you go!!!!

GOOD LUCK!!!

[NHuntParticipant]

Been 9 years for me and they are completely brainwashed against me. Parental alienation is one of the most horrible things in the world.

The only hope is to stay with court as long as you can and represent yourself. Save everything! Keep records of all contacts with dates and times. Then dig in for the long haul. Don’t get worked up about small victories/losses. Court was invented to destroy your soul – Don’t let it.

The more contact you have now will make it easier when they are older to understand the situation.

[NHuntParticipant]

This is a tough one.
You were not married to the mum at the time of their births? Hmmm… use the grandparents address. They appear to be the mailing address for the mum. You do not need the address of the mum – you just need an address that will reach the mum. The court will demand a residence address for the kids.

Also, do you have a written agreement to see the kids on certain days? It does sound like you are in contact with her still???

[NHuntParticipant]

The court will look unfavourably at the domestic violence allegation – but it will not make a difference down the line. if you stay on track and focus on the visitations. Sadly, making MUM happy is the only way to see your kids. The less you see her the less she has to accuse you of.
once she is believed to be a fraud then things will chance, but you need to chill and behave!

[NHuntParticipant]

Yes! the C100 is the start. It costs a bit but you have it forever if you continue to contact the court.

[NHuntParticipant]

Parkes,
MIAM is just another way to get £100 out of the dad – a shame to say but true.

The court will address the issues with the contact centre and will probably appoint CAFCASS to investigate. CAFCASS will give your ex someone to cry to and tell all her bad stories (about you) to. Prepare yourself for this. But, stay strong and solid and focus on the children. Remember to always speak from the children’s point of view.

Mum’s learn how to manipulate court quite quickly. The judge will make an order but will expect the two of you to agree to it first.

[NHuntParticipant]

I agree with Barnsey…

If you have a Family Based Arrangement (which you say you have) then there is nothing else you need to do. Do NOT contact the CMS/CSA. Will your commission be on your P60’s? – if not then it would be very hard for the CSA to be able to identify these funds. Does she know about the change of job? – if not then don’t bring it up.

If you have a good relationship with the ex then keep it that way!!!!! This is a site for the missing children but many of us have gone through a battle for visitation because of money.

There is a good website for the ins and out of the CSA called CSAhell.com

[NHuntParticipant]

More information would be a good thing! were can we find more details on the event and organisers?

April 25th is International Parental Alienation Day with protests in many countries, but nothing here in the UK. I wonder how different protesting would be if the fathers didn’t have the soul and money sucked out of them by the system.

[NHuntParticipant]

The resident parent has a right to know where the children are at all times (which includes your address). Unless, the court request the omission. may it be easier to get a virtual address and only reveal the correct one when pushed? May be a short term solution?
Only a thought?

[Author]

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