[NHuntParticipant]

Dude,
It will never stop surprising me how similar your story is to mine and so many others. You even have the same sense of humour about it. good on ya.

ok – Nobody from family court is going to visit your house unless invited (like CAFCASS for a visit that is well planned in advance). Could she be suing you for something? She also could have just hired and independent to spook you – there are bailiff companies who do this for a very small fee and through the “court” name around willy nilly. This is NOT Family Court.

You seem an intelligent guy. Stop paying a solicitor and read the advice about Limited Companies. Tom London is a good one for that. Money = visitation to these self centred mothers. Or in my case, its just money and no visitation.

Your ex appears to be getting advice from somewhere and looks to have circled the wagons early. lets hope she goes to court and at least you can see what your up against.

[NHuntParticipant]

Other than document everything – photos and records of your daughters health. Sadly, fathers have to actually prove there is an issue, unlike the mothers.
If there is a huge issue then take her to the hospital as soon as you pick her up and the doctors are obliged to report harm. Social Services are also mandated to take their say so into account. Dads, on their own, are not important to SS.

This is an extreme measure but I don’t know to what extent your daughter is in harm.
Are CAFCASS involved?

[NHuntParticipant]

Oh, and I attached a quote from the Mother text explaining her actions.

[NHuntParticipant]

I don’t think there is a rule, when acting for yourself you are forgiven by the court for not giving or giving too much info.
My section 3b was no more than 200 words describing how our agreed visitation was stopped without notice and is detrimental to the children – this did not go into great detail as I did not want the court to have a perceived idea of my character prior to going to the first hearing. I wanted them to grow to hate me – not hate me from the get go.
I also completed a C1a Harm and Violence form because of the parental alienation and heavy drinking by the mother.

Neither worked.

Good luck.

[NHuntParticipant]

I would think not as she is probably on record as the adult applicant on the passport application. I have known it to happen to some people but simply producing a document showing the dads name and her connection (ie birth cert, divorce/marriage cert or family document) would stop any questioning.
That being said a man travelling alone with a under age child with a different last name would ring alarm bells…
I once travelled with my step-son to the states with a letter from his mum just in case. I wasn’t asked or questioned but was ready. I was also signed into his passport as the emergency contact so there was a double back.

[NHuntParticipant]

This is another sad situation and all to typical. But, there is little you can do other than let her self-destruct. You said you have an over night stay (I assume that is court ordered)? Let hope she doesn’t figure out that court orders don’t mean anything…!!!
I suggest you smile and be the best dad possible. Never let your daughter see you unhappy as she will form memories of you if contact is denied.
Sit back and chill. Your ex will have to get over the fact that you have moved on and are prepared to be a great role model for your daughter.

[NHuntParticipant]

wow, this sounds like a very long story but I will try and offer some advice.

Why did you have no alternative but to send her back – on whos order was that/ It sounded like she was settled and happy. Your son has parental responsibility, yes?
Has she switched schools back again and with Child protection?

It reason I ask is: at some point you need to stop and consider the child and be able to represent what is most normal for them. Social service and CAFCASS and the like cannot be trusted to do what is best for the child , they do what is best for the mother of the child.
My only advice to now ride it out and never respond with anger to anything the mother does. It looks almost out of your hands now (in a way)?

[NHuntParticipant]

9 and 6 are great ages! good luck to you and I would imagine the alienation has already started with the 6 year old. Ex’s start early and engrain hate from the moment they are born. Our society allows degradation men without rebuttal.
So hard to prove PA but remember to smile when shit happens and your boys will remember that later when they form their own opinion about their mum.

Have you or her met anyone else yet. That’s where my fun began…

[NHuntParticipant]

Has it has now become the NORM for women to lie about abuse in Family Court? The best part of the report is how they do not differentiate between allegation/reported or factual abuse. It is the same in the eyes of family court.

It is also the great belief by the British public that the family court operates like the criminal/civil courts. The average person actually thinks that a family judge is taken seriously and that evidence has to be present before an allegation has weight.

We are not doing enough to stop it actually. But all this crying and bitching on this site helps…

[NHuntParticipant]

Lee,
Sounds good. PSO can take time when is the holiday?

Just remember to think about your boys perception. Don’t make stopping your ex the same thing as stopping your boys fun.
That is my only advice.

[NHuntParticipant]

This is good news. well done… it never hurts to give it one last try. I really hope it works out – or at the very least you can build your relationship back with your (child).

Once you see your kid for the first time, create something memorable for you both that you can share. Something fun and he can keep. So that if this happens again they will know you love them.
Alienation is a horrible thing that changes perceptions and you will need to be on your game.

[NHuntParticipant]

Lee,
How old are your boys? It sounds like they might be getting old enough to voice their own opinion in the eyes of the law. Be careful and always remain happy when you are with them. I cant stress this enough – your divorce is not about them. Also, your visitation is far more than about 95% of the men on this site and you should be proud of your negotiation skills don’t lose that dialog with the ex even if it means giving and taking over a holiday that the boys will love. Use it as a bargaining tool.

It looks to me like that is where you need to focus your attention as their mum will only get worse. As Tom said, the law protects her to do what she wants and let hope she does not figure that out court actually means nothing.

Here is my advice. Don’t get caught up on the little things like missing the odd day. There are bigger fish to fry, like stopping your boys from hating you from her manipulation. They may see all this argument as you trying to stop their two week holiday and not what it is really about. Stop and think about your boys perception and don’t fall into the same trap I did many years ago.

My ex wife portrayed me as a miserable and angry man to my kids… and that was exactly what I was when my ex disappeared with my girls. I almost forgot about my daughters feelings at a time my girls remembered most about. According to my ex, I am a miserable man who only talks about himself and what I want from the kids… oh the irony.

[NHuntParticipant]

I am new to protesting but happy to support in any way. Peterborough is just up the road for me too.

[NHuntParticipant]

Tom,
Limited is the way to go no doubt.
Questions: I took a perm role when I thought I was out of the woods. For all the working stiffs out there, like me; how do we go limited if we are in a contracted role (PAYE or the like)?
Is there a loophole for us? Perhaps just changing contract terms and creating a LTD on companies house?
Are their not pension issues?

If there is a silver bullet I would love to know about it.

[NHuntParticipant]

You should be able to get details from CAFCASS/Courts and even be able to have CAFCASS deliver your card or letter. If he is old enough to be on social media then you may want to try to find him three – if he isn’t old enough for social media, then should he really be believed when he says he doesn’t want to see his father.

CAFCASS have delivered my letters and cards, when my ex disappeared and refused to give me her address. You also have parental rights to know what school he attends and be allowed to get this school records. I found my daughter by a google search (she won an award for Maths and it was in the schools newsletter, which I found on line).

[Author]

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